HEATHERMATTHEW

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Regaining Confidence

Map inspiration, bridge over Mooball Creek, Pottsville

What happens when you lose confidence in yourself? It’s easy to slip into doubt and despondency when you attempt something you haven’t done before. I admit that drawing is not my strong point. I am not an illustrator or an artist who can paint realistic pictures. To get around that I started photography, then moved into printmaking and collage. It’s how I’ve got by, until now.

I used to have a daily practice of creating an artwork. It lasted for ten years with six months off in 2016. This year I abandoned my practice in March and haven’t gone back to it. I felt it was getting stale and I wasn’t enjoying it. Now I see how valuable it was.

Doing a small art piece everyday helps you feel ‘in the flow’. It’s like exercise or music, you need to practise to have a practice. I discovered how rusty I was at making a semblance of a map for the book I am creating as part of my final Arts and Place Masters project.

I needed a map of the places I am investigating in Pottsville. I started by printing out maps of the area onto mud marked paper. They didn’t work. Then I tried to draw a map with all the subdivision houses and streets. Totally out of proportion. I took a break!

After a trip to Brisbane where I saw a fantastic map of the Brisbane River, I tried again using inks to mark out the creeks. Some of the inks had gone syrupy in their bottles from underuse and the lines were wonky and overbright. I then tried watercolour which was somewhat an improvement. I knew I was overthinking so I did a quick sketch in my notebook. Much better, but it was portrait orientation, not landscape.

Fifth time lucky! I copied the sketch using inktense pencils and watercolour. It looked too wishy washy. I’ve been playing around with overlayering and thought this might strengthen the image. I found a photo of the creek with sunlight upon it that I had taken the other morning. Layering it with the map made it a little translucent. It’s definitely not perfect but I don’t think I can improve on it any further before the print deadline.

Which brings me back to my realisation that I need to resume my daily practice. Starting January 1st I’ll begin again, this time creating with watercolours so I can become more confident in using them. It’s a whole field I have never really explored. Maybe I’ll even take a course in beginner watercolours in 2024. It’s a positive step forward to regain my confidence.