Today is the first day of spring and I feel like I am emerging into a new landscape like a bear after hibernation. An enforced deep sleep of my creative self, curled inwards as I recovered from knee surgery.

These past four weeks have brought up all my fears and insecurities. With no studio time for a month, no artistic practice on the horizon, no exhibitions to attend or drawing group outings; I doubted whether I would ever create again.

Radical trust was required to reassure myself. I had to remember to heed the advice I have given to others before; that it is OK to take time out, to pause and reflect (without feeling guilty).

This week I picked up my post surgery x-ray and was surprised and delighted to see the beautiful shapes of my titanium implants. These solid white shapes now living within the fleshy grey of skin remind me of the shapes made by stones on my Icelandic cyanotypes.

They spoke to me of cut out shapes, made famous by Henri Matisse in the ‘Cut-Out ‘ series of artworks he created following a decline in his health. They are so playful and joyous they remain my favourites of all his works.

Inspired by the stencil shape I made of my walking stick (which has now been retired), I painted the titanium shapes of the knee plates, then cut them out and started rearranging them onto blank sheets of paper.  

It felt like I was creating a new landscape. When I scrolled back through my picture library, I realised I have been creating shapes like this for some years, but could not see them clearly before. I remember my first attempts at fractal figures in 2020, then the paper pulp paintings of quartz crystals and stones I made when in Iceland in 2022.

Now these new shapes are making themselves known. The little pieces of me dancing around on paper and canvas vying for attention. They are beckoning me to follow into this new landscape where the inner becomes visible. I’m excited to see what shape it will take.